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HC Investigation Horoscopes New Members Psychology Sitting With Shyla Survey Results |
HoroscopesAries (March 21 - April 19) - You'll be experiencing some psychic turbulence, so please fasten your seatbelts and return your tray tables to their upright and locked position. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - Call up an airline and ask if they give out "Frequent Spier" discounts. Explain that you're a bit of a voyeur. Offer proof. Gemini (May 21 - June 20) - Pat a lot of people on the back this month. Do it harder and harder until finally someone asks you to stop. Then say, "Fine! You try to pat someone on the back, and see what happens?" and storm off. Cancer (June 21 - July 22) - Creative energies are high in the mid month, so why not make some sock puppets? Be sure to use very old unwashed socks. Leo (July 23 - August 22) - Throw bread crumbs out for the squirrels this month in the evening. Then each morning, call the police and demand an investigation. Virgo (August 23 - September 22) - Your energy and enthusiasm peak at mid month. After that, you become a quivering lump of uselessness. Libra (September 23 - October 22) - This month is the perfect month to quit some annoying habit, like biting your nails. To balance things out, take up another annoying habit, like smoking cigars. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) - Walk up to a frozen yogurt counter this month and insist on calling it "Frogurt." Offer no explanation. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) - Energies are high this month, so you might want to spend the time working on one of those projects you've been putting off, such as alphabetically rearranging all your canned goods. Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) - Why not rent an old Jimmy Stewart film this month? Because he couldn't act and you could barely understand him, that's why! Shoot! Rent a film by the Coen brothers instead! Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) - A great month to memorize every line of dialogue from every Rambo film. Then you can whip it out at parties for a creative ice-breaker! |