by Return Former

Welcome to the second edition of The Blot's greatest article, On Crack. Plumb the depths of the wonderous mind that is in my possession. Take a peak at the goings-on inside my head. Attempt to fathom the unlimited mental resources that are at my command. And when all is said and done, you'll come to the fabulous realization, that I am quite simply, On Crack. Just don't read it a little fast or you'll miss the myriad of minutiae that are captured within.

A little fast as in too fast? I don’t think there’s such a thing as too fast...

No, that’s not what he meant... She meant a little faster.

Well if he meant a little fastER, why didn't he say it?

Well, maybe he thought it, but forgot to type it?

Forgot to tye it? Who forgets to type thngs?

You just did

Well, it doesn’t matter, it could never be too fast.

Sure it could, if it went really fast, you’d go by 100 pages in a second. You wouldn’t have time to read anything.

Well, that might be true if it didn't only go to the next page when you click something

That’s not true. Even on this site there’s pages that go automatically. Its like the transmission in the average car.

There you go bringing cars into it as usual.

What’s wrong with cars? I happen to like them

They’re similar to you, that’s what’s wrong with them.

What? Similar to me? How?

You both have smelly exhaust pipes...

Oh, and you say I bring cars into it all the time. There you go bringing the ass into it again.

I keep telling you to wash it.

It’s not my responsibility.

Yes it is. You control the right hand, and we're right-handed. That means you get to wipe.

Oh, and all this time I thought you were wiping.

No, idiot, that’s your job.

Hey, that’s kinda sick. No one’s wiped? How long has this been going on?

Since you got here. The last cranial lobe we had here had some brains...

Hey, I control the right side of the body. I got the stronger arm. Shut up or I'll smack you.

Hey, I’m just saying that you’re not the best brain I've worked with.

You're such an ass...

Hey, I wonder who controls that thing, anyway?

Who controls what thing?

The ass.

Don't you?

No. I control the left side, and you got the right, but who's got the middle?